Does Satan Care About Your Politics? (pg.3)

Legitimacy, people, is KEY! Don’t get me wrong, violent take-overs and military coups still sound grandly exciting and wildly romantic. The very phrases elicit poignant visions of our most precious hopes and cultural ideals put into action. But violent overthrow is not going to get it done in modern day America. For one thing, the fundamentalists are a tenacious bunch, and although, as we discovered earlier, they are a minority compared to a fully mobilized FreakNation, they are still considerable in number. Throw in your basic secular conservatives who would stand behind them in a heartbeat and you’ve got an even larger group. And this is before you get to the god damned government. Believe me, you’re not gonna get in there and shoot it out with these old boys and come out ahead. But what we can do is keep promoting our lifestyles and keep bringing the newbies on board. It’s the winning formula.

Now, think about this in the context of our question. Does Satan care about your politics? Our Man, Beelzebub, has been working on this dilemma for a long-ass time. He’s seen times of sweeping victory, (Who do you think was behind The Enlightenment in 18th Century Europe? The World-Wide Counter Culture of the ’60’s?) as well as times of hopeless defeat. (The majority of the last 30 years) But what he has always done—always—has been to fight the system. He’s been fighting the fundamentalist system since he took that fateful leap from grace lo those many eons ago. He takes the fight to the believers in their own arena. His weapons are intelligence, logic, sex, temptation and power. Same as they’ve always been. From the beginning he has fought fundamentalism on its own terms. He’s been out there offering the head-cases a world in which they can write their own tickets, but they’re too dumb to make sense of it. He offered none other than Jeezus himself the keys to the planet. He was refused, on the usual grounds that our world is an illusion and heaven is all that matters. Fine talk 2000 years ago, but we know better today. We knew better a long time ago. But there are still scores of the deluded out there. And the battle must continue to be waged until intelligence begins to reign supreme. This is the next step in human evolution, Satan’s work. His grand opus. And this tradition of fighting as The Master fights is the one we must carry on today. The arena in which the battle is fought is predominantly the arena of politics. So rise up, Brothers and Sisters, and get political. Your lives will take on a new meaning. And remember; If it’s good enough for The Prince of Darkness, it’s good enough for us.

Of course, spending as much time as we can just getting our Sex On with Hotties like Glorya can sometimes do more to get the anti-fundamentalist message out than hours of preaching. It’s a Hell of a lot more fun, too!